Dealing With A Partner That Snores

Don’t let snoring ruin your relationship

Is snoring  causing tension in your relationship? As I mentioned in a previous post, my chronic snoring was driving my wife nuts. It went beyond just an annoying and was putting a serious strain on our relationship. After many nights of waking my wife up with my snoring, she finally decided to kick me out into a different room. We now sleep separately, but before that there was some serious resentment building up. I’ll admit there’s still strain there due to having to sleep in different rooms.

When snoring is a problem, relationship strain can develop and show itself in a few different ways:

  • Sleeping in separate beds. Like me and my wife, you may have to resort to sleeping in different beds. My wife and I derive a sense of  intimacy from sleeping in the same beds, so this has taken a toll on our relationship.
  • Irritability due to sleep deprivation. When you and your partner are not getting enough sleep, it takes a toll on your mood. It causes great stress not just at night  but during the day time. It can be difficult to manage stress when you’re feeling sleep deprived.
  • Building resentment. When your loved one who doesn’t snore has tried every coping mechanism on the planet, but is still suffering, serious resentment can build. How can this be helped? You can work together, as a couple, to come up with solutions.

What are the solutions?


Your best bet is to approach your partner in a non-defensive tone. Keep in mind that your partner wishes he or she could stop snoring and wishes things could be different as well.

  • Timing. Don’t talk at times that are inconvenient. Try to avoid discussing the situation when one of you is busy or stressed out.
  • Remember snoring is not intentional. I get it- you feel like you’re the one losing sleep and suffering and you definitely are, but your loved one isn’t snoring on purpose. Keep this in mind before you talk to your partner. This may help diffuse any defensiveness you may have build up.
  • Avoid pointing fingers and bitterness.
  • Use humor when possible. Help to diffuse the situation by using humor when possible. I know it can be difficult not to get upset when talking about this topic, but you’ll be more satisfied with the results of a calm conversation. Nothing is better than inserting a bit of humor. It can help diffuse tension and decrease defensiveness.

I hope these tips help you and your partner handle a chronic snoring situation. Please check out my other pages for more tips on this topic!